Metro DC
Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
Recommended Reading List
2005

ACCEPTING YOUR CHILD

Always my Child: A Parent's Guide to Understanding your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, or Questioning Son or Daughter by Kevin Jennings.
This book focuses on the day-to-day experiences of adolescents facing sexual identity issues, while providing the insight and advice parents need to both support their children and cope themselves. (2002)

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences by Carolyn W. Griffin and Marian J. Wirth.
Parents of lesbians and gays discuss their experiences, from the initial anger, denial, and guilt to closeness, acceptance, and beyond. (1997)

Coming Out As Parents: You and Your Homosexual Child by David K. Switzer.
This complete revision of Parents of the Homosexual helps parents understand their feelings and reactions to the knowledge that their child is a homosexual. Suitable for counselors and clergy too. (1996).

Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents by Mary. V. Borhek.
This book provides insight to either parents or gay individuals as they "come out." It bridges gaps in understanding what your family member is going through during this process. (1993)

Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by Robb Forman Dew.
Family Heart tells the story of what happened to novelist and PFLAG mom Robb Forman Dew, and her family, when her 19 year old son told her he was gay. (1995)

Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey by Betty Degeneres.
In Love, Ellen, Ellen Degeneres' mother Betty tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and her deepening friendship with her daughter, media scrutiny, and tales from her experiences being the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project. (2000) By the same author Just a Mom

My Child is Gay: How Parents React When They Hear the News by Bryce McDougall.
Honest stories of parents and the emotions they experienced when their son or daughter told them they were gay. (1998)

Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together by Robert Bernstein.
"As one of hundreds of thousands of parents who love our children, I wish this book would be required reading for the world." – Betty Degeneres (1999)

ABOUT BEING GAY

Coming Out: An Act of Love by Rob Eichberg.
Written for both men and women, this is a comprehensive step-by-step guide for those attempting to understand their own homosexuality and others reactions to it. (1991)

Is It a Choice? Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People by Eric Marcus.
Eric Marcus provides honest, no-nonsense answers to hundreds of the most common and simple questions about homosexuality, relationships, family roles, "coming out," politics, and more. (1999)

Loving Someone Gay by Donald H. Clark.
Thoroughly revised for the fourth time, this book offers courageous support and compassionate encouragement for gay men and women and the families and friends that love them, according to Library Journals. (1997)

Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers by Michelangelo Signorile.
Signorile offers structure, guidance, and straightforward advice to anyone struggling with the overwhelming "coming out" process. (1996)

Positively Gay: New Approaches to Gay and Lesbian Life by Betty Berzon and Barney Frank.
This is a valuable anthology of useful information about how to live a positive and fulfilling gay life. Identity, success as a couple, coming out, and finance are just a few of the many topics covered in this book. (2001)

Queer Crips: Disabled Gay Men and Their Stories by Bob Guter.
Through the intimacy of one-on-one storytelling, gay men with mobility and neuromuscular disorders, spinal cord injury, deafness, blindness, and AIDS, fight isolation from society and each other to establish a public identity and a common culture. (2003)

A Woman Like That: Lesbian and Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories by Joan Larkin.
Personal accounts ranging from exhilarating to empowering to heart-wrenching and encompass extensiveness in experience and background. (2000)

FAMILIES WITH GAY PARENTS

Families of Value: Intimate Profiles of Pioneering Lesbian and Gay Parents by Robert Bernstein.
From a former lawyer, journalist, and author of Straight Parents, Gay Children – intimate, engrossing, and diverse profiles in courage and integrity from across America of the pioneering families who are inevitably moving same-sex parenting into the national mainstream. . . Their unique stories portray the resistance these brave parents have faced, their views of the current cultural climate and, most importantly, the intense passion and dedication that they have devoted to raising sound, healthy, and well-adjusted children.

Love Makes a Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Parents and Their Families by Gigi Kaeser, Peggy Gillespie, Kath Weston, and April Martin.
This picture book uses stunning visuals and accompanied writings from those photographed to show the true beauty in all families. (1999)

CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS

How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages by Judith E. Snow.
This book gives voice to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of children, adolescents, and young adults who have gay and lesbian parents. The children, in their own words, discuss prejudice, harassment, tolerance, and harmony. (2004) For Young Adults

Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is by Abigail Garner.
The author's father came out when she was five years old, and she now identifies herself as a "culturally queer" heterosexual woman. This book is Abigail's first hand account of what it is like to grow up with a gay parent. (2004) For Adult Children of GLBT parents

Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up With Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Parents by Noelle Howey, Ellen Samuels, Margarethe Cammermeyer, and Dan Savage.
This unprecedented collection of short memoirs by adult children of gay, lesbian, and transgender parents demonstrates that love cannot be policed or regulated, and that the bond between parents and children transcends categories. (2000) For Young Adults and Adult Children of GLBT parents.

YOUNG CHILDREN

Heather has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman and Diana Souza.
This now-classic children's story possesses the enduring message that the most important element in families is love. (2000) For Ages 4-8. By the same author, try: Gloria Goes to Gay Pride (For Ages 9-12)

Daddy's Roommate by Michale Willhoite.
This book for young readers sets a positive tone about homosexual parents. A young, healthy, affectionate boy describes his father's relationship with his "roommate," and his own relationship with the men. (1991) For Ages 4-8

Who?s in a Family? by Robert Skutch and Laura Nienhaus.
Simple and declarative stories move young readers from one family configuration to the next, offering diversified examples of the modern family. (1997) For Ages 4-8

ABC A Family Alphabet Book by Bobbie Combs, Desiree Keane, Brian Rappa.
This alphabet book shows families playing together and enjoying twenty-sex different aspects of family life. The brilliant watercolors depict families headed by lesbian mothers and gay fathers. (2001) For Babies through Pre-school. By the same author, try: 123 A Family Counting Book

How My Family Came to Be: Daddy, Papa and Me by Andrew R. Aldrich and Mike Motz.
Provides a fun story about a loving family; a great book showing how all families are different but are alike in the love that they share. (2003) For Ages 4-8

SIBLINGS

Side by Side: On Having a Gay or Lesbian Sibling by Andrew R. Gottlieb.
In this first of its kind book, Gottlieb attacks various questions about sexuality and siblings: how homosexuality affects siblings, how siblings deal with homophobia, and the dynamic if more than one gay sibling exists. (2004) For Young Adults and Adults

SPOUSES

The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families by Amity Pierce Buxton.
This book is a comprehensive look at the effects on husbands, wives, and children during the "coming out" process for a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender spouse or parent. (1994)

My Husband is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide by Carol Grever.
After Grever's husband came out of the closet, she made an effort to process her confusion and pain by seeking out women of varying backgrounds, ages, and ethnicities with similar stories. (2001)

Married Women Who Love Women by Carren Strock.
After 25 years of marriage, Carren Strock fell in love with her best friend. Her book tracks the journey from denial to acceptance, and gives insight into her own family, as well as more than one hundred other women's stories, families, and lovers. (2000)

COMING OF AGE AS A GAY OR LESBIAN YOUTH

Two Teenagers in Twenty: Writings by Gay & Lesbian Youth by Ann Heron.
This revision of the book One in Ten is full of personal, first-hand accounts for teenagers, by teenagers, from all over the country coping with their sexual identification. (1995) For Ages 13 and Up

The Shared Heart: Portraits and Stories Celebrating Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young People by Adam Mastoon.
Collection of photos of g/l/b/t youth offers a literal look into the struggles of sexual minority teenagers. Personal statements by the teens photographed bring to light what it means to be young and gay today. (1997) For Ages 13 and Up

GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel.
This book covers all the basics for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning teens, as well as strives to untied some of the more complicated knots of sexuality: dating, "coming out," religion, school, work, and home. (2003) For Ages 11 and Up

FICTIONAL READING

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan.
School Library Journal says: "Levithan's prophecy of a hate-free world in which everyone loves without persecution makes this a provocative and important read for all young adults, gay or straight." This tale of teen love is a wonderful escape to an unfortunately fictional place. (2003) For Ages 13 and Up

Pages for You by Sylvia Brownrigg.
An unsentimental look at the things that we do for love, most especially, first love. The young protagonist, Flannery Jansen, falls in love with her teaching assistant and is taken on a ride of firsts, including first betrayal. (2002) For Ages 16 and Up.

Am I Blue? Coming Out from the Silence by Various Authors.
This book is an assembly of original stories with gay themes written by many popular children's and young adult authors. The creative compilation involves tales about growing up gay, or with gay family members or friends. (1995) For Ages 13 and Up

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson.
Adopted into an evangelical household, protagonist Jeanette and her family must come to terms with her lesbianism. Award-winning gay novelist Winterson tells this semi-autobiographical narrative honestly, innovatively, and with great humor, while staying true to its love story roots. (1997) For Ages 13 and Up

So Hard to Say by Alex Sanchez.
This story alternates narrators between Xio, a bubbly and popular girl, and her friend Frederick, the boy that she wants to be more than friends with. But Frederick finds himself thinking more about soccer boy Victor. As Frederick moves toward self-discovery, both young teens try to balance friendship and love. (2004) For Ages 11 and Up. By the same author: Rainbow High and Rainbow Boys

HISTORY, RELIGION, POLITICS, AND SEXUALITY

The History of Sexuality : An Introduction by Michel Foucault.
The celebrated French thinker Foucault turns his attention to sex and why the western world is so driven to analyze and discuss it. (1990) By the same author, try: The History of Sexuality: The Use of Pleasure

Homosexuality and Civilization by Loius Crompton.
How have major civilizations over the last two millennia treated people who were attracted to their own sex? In this narrative masterpiece, Crompton examines the achievements of homosexual men and women ranging from the Christian West through Western Europe and into imperial China and Asia, against an ever-present backdrop of persecution. (2003)

Strangers at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America by Mel White.
This true tale is the journey of Mel White—evangelical minister, family man, committed Christian, and gay. In Strangers, White chronicles 25 years of being confused, exorcised, shocked (literally), and nearly driven to suicide. (1995)

The New Testament and Homosexuality by Robin Scroggs.
A first-rate biblical scholar introduces the reader to basic principles of biblical interpretation and applying those principles to the (very few) verses that seem to address homosexuality in the New Testament. (1983)

Judaism and Homosexuality: An Authentic Orthodox View by Rabbi Chaim Rapoport.
Raroport addresses homosexual issues raised from the perspective of the holy Torah, not as an attempt to provide definitive answers, but as a basis for consultation, discussion and ultimately decision making. (2004)

Queer Theory and the Jewish Question by Daniel Boyarin.
The essays in this volume boldly map the historically resonant intersections between Jewishness and queerness, between homophobia and anti-semitism, and between queer theory and theorizations of Jewishness. (2003)

Disidentifications: Queers of Color and the Performance of Politics by Jose Esteban Munoz.
In eight essays, Munoz, an assistant professor of performance studies at NYU, explores the political and social impact of black, Latino and Asian performance artists on mainstream culture. (1999)

Same Sex Marriage and the Constitution by Evan Gerstmann.
Does the Constitution protect the right to same-sex marriage? Taking a careful look at what he calls one of the most important constitutional issues facing society, Evan Gerstmann looks at the legal debate, and asks whether, in a democratic society, the courts, rather than voters, should resolve the question. (2003)

TRANSGENDER READING

True Selves : Understanding Transsexualism—For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley.
According to Booklist editorial reviews, True Selves is filled with wisdom and understanding. This groundbreaking book paints a vivid portrait of conflicts transsexuals face on a daily basis–and the courage they must summon as they struggle to reveal their true being to themselves and others. (2003)

Transgender Care: Recommended Guidelines, Practical Information, and Personal Accounts by Gianna E. Israel, Donald E. Tarver, and Diane Shaffer.
Directed to professionals in the health and therapeutic fields, but clear and readable for non-professionals, this book outlines the differences between gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Transgender Care proves to be very useful for those already associated with transgender issues. (1998)

She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders by Jennifer Finney Boylan.
Jennifer Finney Boylan's book offers a look into the true story of the life of a transgendered person. As a mismatched mind and body, the author gives the reader a sense of the confusion that results, that is, until the day James realizes that, he would be happier if he became a woman. (2003)

UNDERSTANDING BISEXUALITY

Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality by Martin Weinberg, Colin Williams, and Douglas Pryor.
Based on extensive research on gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and heterosexuals, Dual Attraction provides the first major study of bisexuality. (1995)

Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu.
This book emphasizes the enormous gray area that lies between gay and straight in modern culture. Bi Any Other Name presents the personal stories of an extraordinarily diverse group of bisexuals. (1991)

HIV/AIDS

And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic by Randy Shiltz.
By the time America woke up to the dangers of the AIDS epidemic, the virus had spread to every corner of the nation. The country's most prominent AIDS reporter answers many of the questions posed by this virus. Against this backdrop, Shilts recounts the heroic stories of individuals and of he gay community. (2004)

Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir by Paul Monette.
The story of Paul and Roger starts off as the ultimate love story of two people who found themselves in their partner. Their struggle with Roger's diagnosis and illness just cements that feeling of absolute oneness. Borrowed Time is a profoundly emotional tale of AIDS and true love from the pen of a gifted writer, according to Publishers Weekly editorial reviews. (1998)

Love Undetectable: Notes on Friendship, Sex, and Survival by Andrew Sullivan.
According to amazon.com editorial reviews, Love Undetectable is a scholarly, impassioned, wide-ranging, and embattled memoir that is ultimately not about homosexuality or plague, but about humanity and mortality. (1999)

On the Down Low: A Journey Into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep with Men by J.L. King.
King exposes a closeted culture of sex between black men who lead "straight" lives. The trend is proving to have skyrocketing health consequences for wives and girlfriends unwittingly caught in the double lives of their men; one in every 160 black women carries HIV. Interviews, statistics, and first-hand knowledge come together in this book to tell everything an African American woman needs to know on this volatile topic. (2004)

Losing Uncle Tim by Marykate Jordan.
In a gentle, realistic story, Daniel describes his friendship with his favorite uncle. Daniel learns that Uncle Tim has AIDS and must come to terms with losing a family member that he loves. (1989) For Ages 6-10

Alex, the Kid with AIDS by Linda Girard.
Avoiding both melodrama and excessive information packing, this is a casually told story about the adjustment between a boy with AIDS and his often rambunctious classmates. (1991) For Ages 6-12