Don't be surprised when a youth "comes out" to you. They have tested you with a series of "trial balloons" over a period of time. Based on your previous repsonses they've decided you can be trusted and helpful.
Respect confidentiality. If a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender youth shares with you information about his or her sexual orientation, you have a trust that must be respected. A breach of this confidence has led some to suicide.
Be informed & examine your own biases. Most of us are the products of a homophobic society influenced by misinformation and fear. You can't be free of it just by deciding to; read reliable sources and talk to qualified persons.
Know when and where to seek help. Know the referral agencies and counselors in your area. Gay helplines can provide you with professional persons and organizations that are qualified to help. Tell them who you are and what kind of assistance you need. They'll be helpful and fair.
Maintain a balanced perspective. Sexual thoughts and feelings are only a small (but important) part of a person's personality.
Understand the meaning of sexual orientation. Each person's sexual orientation is what is natural to that person. It is not a matter of sexual "preference." People do not choose to be gay or lesbian; they simply are.
Deal with feelings first. Most gay and lesbian youth feel alone, afraid and guilty. You can assist by listening, thus allowing them to release feelings and thoughts that are often in conflict.
Be supportive. Explain that many people have struggled with this issue in the past. Admit that dealing with one's sexuality is difficult. It defies easy and fast answers, whether heterosexual, bisexual, gay, lesbian or transgender. Keep the door open for more conversations and assistance.
Anticipate some confusion. Most youth are sure of their sexual orientation by the time they finish the eight grade. But some young people will be confused and unsure. They have to work through their own feeling and insights; you can't talk them into, or out of being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.
Help but do not force. If you are heterosexual, you probably do not understand what it means to be different in this manner. Clues for how you can help will come from the young person. Don't force him or her into your frame of reference to make it easier for you to understand.
Don't try to guess who's gay or lesbian. It is not helpful for you or for the youth you serve. We live in a world of stereotypes that do people an injustice; do not be tempted to perpetuate old myths.
Challenge homophobic remarks and jokes. Would you be silent if someone made a racial slur or disparaging remark about someone's race? If not, then speak up. Don't perpetuate injustice through silence.
